Learning Stuff

I was always very concerned about how people learned things. I remember following my mom around our house when I was six years old, asking her how she learned to become a mom. “You learn,” she said. I didn’t get it. It stressed me out. How do you learn, I wanted to know. We had the same conversation several times.

What I didn’t have the words to express at the time is that I wanted to know where to go to find the resources. What path does one take? Where does one turn? What does one ask?

These questions have continued to be central in my life. And as I do ground-breaking work, I leave mental bread crumbs. I keep track of the steps I took, so that if someday someone asks me how I got from A to Z, I will be able to tell them, very concretely, and I will be able to help them find their own path by sharing my own journey identifying, pursuing, and implementing resources.

As I grew up, I came to understand what my mom was talking about: Things happen. You learn stuff. Life is a classroom. Something that often frustrated me was the randomness of life: I’d ask people how they achieved x, y, and z, and so often it seemed to be coincidence: They happened to be in place A, when person B showed up, then C happened, and ten years later, all these people and factors collided into something splendid.

That’s the kind of shit you just can’t plan. And that’s why I like growing up. Which is a whole other topic I’d like to explore as I pursue this stream of consciousness writing. We’re supposed to hate growing up – women especially. We’re supposed to fear it – the wrinkles, the grey hair, the sagging boobs, all of it. But I think it’s the coolest thing ever to be able to say, “We have been best friends for 20 years.” That’s fucking awesome shit.

I love that I have built a life. I love that I have a herstory. I love that I have a track record. I love that I stand on my own shoulders, that I built my own foundation. Growing up rocks. Plus all kinds of cool random shit can happen, all kinds of serendipity, with one thing leading to another. So much cool stuff in my life just could not have been planned or foreseen or mapped out.

Still, I do think that intellectual maps are awesome. I still think it’s really smart to know who, what, where, when, as much of that stuff in advance, and to pursue it all in pursuit of our dreams.