Processing the Blog Radio Show of Almaz Kohanziadeh Ben-Adonai

by Loolwa Khazzoom • May 6, 2011 • Jewish Multicultural Corner

Damn. I am really tired but totally wired after talking with Almaz Kohanziadeh Ben-Adonai. Do I take a leap of faith and re-engage with Jews again? Do I open up AGAIN? And put myself out there AGAIN? Or say I gave over 20 years of my life to the cause, and I’m DONE. Thank you, gezai gezunt or however the hell you say that, I”ll be in this corner over here. So many issues upon issues upon issues and layers upon layers. The human condition, personalities, politics, power dynamics, passive-agressive bullshit, people erasing people while beating their chest about being erased. How honest are we willing to be. What do I need to trust, to be wiling to engage again. How can I talk about things when I cannot talk about things to protect people or avoid lashon hara or avoid backlash. It’s been easier to know the truth and quietly disappear into another world, the health and wellness world. Nobody wants to step on your face or bash in your head when you are just trying to teach them how to dance away their pain. Who can protest that. I don’t know how to talk if I can’t really speak honestly and openly about what’s going on. I wrote that article, Self Hating White Supremacy in Israeli Media, as my first step in finding my little corner and speaking out loud from there. But now I’m being invited to engage. To speak with others. To build community. Do I even believe community is possible anymore. Do I believe it exists, especially in the Jewish world. A traumatized nation. A beautiful nation. A fucked up nation. I want to run. I want to embrace. I want to cry. I want to yell. I want to sit quietly elsewhere. I don’t want to be part of it anymore. I miss it horribly. Where am I. Who am I. I am not sure how to speak with a Jewish voice anymore, when I am talking to other people, at least publicly. Too much tape over my mouth. And what happens when I rip the tape off.




One Response to “Processing the Blog Radio Show of Almaz Kohanziadeh Ben-Adonai”

  1. Sara
    May 06, 2011

    Sounds like you are someone who CAN speak here and that you have a special role to play. You’re prepared even if you’re scared.



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About Loolwa

Loolwa KhazzoomLoolwa Khazzoom has worked with leading media outlets, including The New York Times, CNN, Rolling Stone, and ABC News. In addition, she has published two books and has lectured at prestigious venues including Barnard Center for Research on Women, the Simon Wiesenthal Center, and Harvard University. Loolwa is passionate about health, music, dance, multiculturalism, and Judaism.

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Loolwa Khazzoom is a a public relations manager specializing in holistic media, holistic marketing, holistic public relations, and holistic promotions. Her services include branding and messaging development, image and communications management, website content development and optimization, social media management, traditional media campaign management, book development, and in-house writing and editing.

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