Violence is Not a Physical Act. It is Energy. It is Intention.
Violence is the difference between being falling down the stairs and being pushed down the stairs. Violence is the difference between having sex and being raped. Violence is the difference between getting an injection of medicine and being stabbed with a needle.
Violence itself is not physical, though the delivery system very well may be. Violence is an energy – invasive, penetrating, abrupt, creepy, unrelenting. It is the filth you cannot wash off with a shower.
In this society, we are conditioned to be so obtuse that we only recognize violence when it already is in the extreme, super-advanced stage – like someone being killed. But a whole lot of violence leads up to murder. It just may not be apparent in the visual or audial realms of our perception.
So when I say I grew up in a violent home, do not assume it was physical (although it was that too). And do not assume that if it was not physical, it was inconsequential. Given the lack of recognition of and response to non-physical violence, in fact, energetic violence is almost worse, given the added layer of psychological torture, or mind-fuck:
You are taught to believe that you are crazy. That you are evil. That you cannot trust yourself. What is happening is not actually happening. And yet it is, while they are telling you it isn’t, and while you are telling yourself it isn’t. Soul destruction.
When you cannot trust or, therefore, defend yourself, you are especially susceptible to anyone’s and everyone’s violence.
Sep 18, 2010
Loolwa, if you’re not already familiar with the term “gaslighting”, it’s worth a Google. This is exactly what your post is about…the denial of your truth. The great thing is, once you recognize gaslighting it’s power is lost.